The parents, godfather, boy, and casamentero, or professional marriage negotiator, made similar second and third visits. The casamentero, or the boy's parents themselves, presented arguments towards her parent's objections. By the third meeting, both sets of parents discussed what the daughter would receive from the bridegroom's family. The marriage gift, or muhul, ordinarily included "a gold chain 'of two loops,' two rings of specified quality, two hair ribbons, one silk handkerchief, several meters of cotton cloth, coins, rum, bread, chocolate, and cigarettes. The gold chain was the central feature of the muhul, and became the storehouse of the family fortunes; they displayed the wealth and dignity of the couple. The third visit brought close the negotiations, and at the fourth, which was less private than the first three, the betrothal was signalized by formal delivery of the muhul. The marriage contract was made between two families, not between two individuals. After the muhul had been offered and accepted, the marriage agreement was theoretically inviolable."9 Immediately afterwards, they discussed the date and nature of the marriage ceremony.

If the answer was yes, by custom known as the puesto de flores, the boy's parents and godparents (or only the boy's mother according to another account) put flowers and candles in front of the santo in her house. The santo was usually a printed or painted picture of a saint, or a carved and painted wooden figure, usually a Virgin or a Christ. "The boy's parents were also expected to bring gifts of chocolate, bread, and wine each Sunday from the time of the pedición de mano until the date of the marriage."10

According to another text about other Indians, a house-entering ceremony took place from one to two years after the original petition. The actual bride payment, although it varied, equaled the amount of money (in gifts) spent before the house-entering ceremony. The marriage was only a few months away once this ceremony had taken place.

Christian church rituals displaced the old Aztec custom of consulting diviners in selecting the bride, but certain elements remained. Old Indain customs also required repeated formal presentations of the request for the girl's hand. The godfather had taken the place of the professional cihuatlanque. Minor elements of this custom, such as the bringing of gifts of fruit and food, have survived thoughout the centuries.

"In the past, an underlying idea of marriage arrangements was to compensate the bride's family for the loss of a working member. The groom's family paid a formal bride price, known as the chichitomin, which means payment for the mother's milk with which the girl was raised. In addition, the future in-laws expected the young man to bring wood and water to them for a period of one or two years. Jane Collier characterized the marital system in Colonial Mexico as "one of 'equal bridewealth' because 'equal' amounts of wealth were exchanged between the boy's and girl's households to validate the marriage. When these exchanges were complete a marital rite followed."11

The Spanish betrothal rituals resembled those of the Indians. After arranged weddings became uncommon, young people selected their mates more freely, but the parents gave final approval for their union. A young man informed his parents that he wanted to marry, so they would make the formal request for her hand. The boy and girl usually were novios secretly before they informed their parents of their desire to marry. "The groom's father and sometimes godfather would prepare and deliver a letter to the father of the bride-to-be formally asking for his daughter's hand in marriage. New Mexico's elite used this social call also to elaborate the economic terms of the agreement."12 According to etiquette, the girl's parents did not open the letter until the callers left. They would deliver a response letter or visit the boy's parents within a specified time (usually fifteen days) indicated in the letter. If they accepted the offer, they set a date usually about a month later for the prendorio, or betrothal. If they rejected the offer, the girl's parents "would send a letter of reply 'dando calabazas' (literally giving the squash)."13